Happy New Year!

Well... we're off to a roaring start to the new year... Actually it feels more like a snail's start. Today feels like just another day, hubby fell asleep last night before midnight, and I was asleep by 12:01. I wasn't even staying up on purpose, just trying to get a few things done and it happened to be midnight when I finally turned in.

My husband's ultrasound and EGD (endoscopy) yesterday to find out why he is having so much stomach pain/pressure was basically a waste of time. The only thing they found was some gastritis, or inflammation of the lining of the stomach, but I don't think that is enough to explain all of the symptoms he's having. He's had gastritis before, but it has never affected him like this. So know we feel like we're back to square one. The bad thing is, now we're back to the beginning of out deductible and out of pocket limits on the insurance too. (The fact that we reached the yearly out of pocket limit last year gives you an idea of how last year went for him, health-wise...)

I have been fighting my own battles with my weight, my will-power, and depression. Stress has been taking it's toll, and since I'm an emotional eater, my weight has been reflecting that. I think that my metabolism has been very slow due to the fact that I have been "dieting"... for lack of a better word for it... for so long. So in November and December I decided that I was going to forget all of that, and just eat, since eating is the way to signal the body to boost the metabolism. My hope is that my metabolism will have recovered enough during that time to work in my favor when I begin my journey this year to change my lifestyle. I've been around too long to think that there is a magic-potion that will melt off all this weight and keep it off without me making any changes to my lifestyle. And I recognize that the fact that I have gained back the weight that I had so proudly lost a few years ago is due entirely to the fact that I had not made the permanent changes to my lifestyle and eating habits that I needed to have done, and so when I got burned out on what I was doing, and then got hit with the stress triggers, I started eating myself into oblivion again. I have to admit that I spent a good part of the morning in tears though, after I stepped on the scale (fully clothed... it's too cold to weigh stripped down like I normally would!) and saw that my weight has reached 294.5 lbs!!!!! I haven't been this heavy since right before my son was born! I have a plan for taking it off and for maintaining my weight once I get it off, and the main part of that is going to be looking hard at the emotional eating issues that I have and finding other outlets for my stress. This year has a lot of big things planned already... I pray that we will find it to be a year filled with blessings, especially since last year was filled with so many trials.

I am really looking forward to studying the new Gospel Principles book in RS this year... especially since I'll be teaching every 3rd Sunday of the month. The lessons are much shorter page-wise, which often means more preparation work for the teacher, but it also means more opportunity for discussion in the class. My hope is that we will all find our testimonies strengthened as we go back to the basics and focus on the things that are important in the big picture, instead of hyper-focusing on the problems we feel we have today. My goal is to recognize the blessings as they come and the workings of the Spirit in my day-to-day life.

Well, there are a lot more things to talk about, but I'll stop here for now and continue another day.

Happy New Year!